Following the humidity of oppressive New Jersey summers, I eagerly welcome the cool, crisp, sun drenched days of autumn with open arms. When October weekends arrive in all of their glory, sitting around the house and doing nothing is simply against the rules...at least according to the "Lisa Weinstein and Family" official play book.
That is why, on a glorious Indian summer Sunday morning, I scanned the weekend section of the newspaper, desperate for some kind of unique, exciting, breathtaking experience that would allow me to soak in the sunshine! I flipped the pages again and again, only to come up empty handed. All of the exciting events were either too far, too crowded, too expensive, or too boring for my 15-year old daughter Melissa.
Fortunately, Melissa received an invitation to hang out with her group of friends she has affectionately dubbed her "nerd herd".
(Don't laugh! As I've told her...one of those nerds will grow up to be the next Bill Gates.)
After dropping her off, Bob and I resumed our "What should we do today?" conversation."
Me: "What should we do today?"
Bob: "I don't know, what do you want to do?"
Me: "What do you want to do?"
Bob: "It doesn't matter, what do you want to do?"
Me: (Flipping through the paper again): "Well, there's a wine tasting festival."
Bob: "We don't drink wine."
Me: "True, so what do you want to do?"
Bob: "I don't know, what do you want to do?"
Me: "What do you want to do?
We finally decided to go to the wine festival just so we could stop asking each other pointless questions.
Now I must explain in advance that the extent of our knowledge about wine consists of the following fact....
It comes from grapes.
At least I think it does.
Seriously...babies know more about wine than we do. Dogs know more about wine than we do. Cats know more about wine than we do. Even inanimate objects know more about wine than we do.
Yet there we were, Mr. and Mrs. "Wine Connoisseur" Weinstein, walking ever-so-confidently into an outdoor wine tasting festival!
For the sake of saving money, Bob decided to forget about his "I hate to share because I'll get sick" germ phobia as we forked over the $25 for only one wine tasting glass instead of two. The friendly lady who took our money also handed us a pencil and a menu so that we could check off all of the fine, fancy wines that we would no doubt (she hoped) be purchasing after our tasting. Clearly she had no idea that the closest we get to drinking a substance made from fruit is my daily intake of prune juice each evening. (Works wonders for irregularity!)
Bob and I took the glass, the menu, and the pencil and walked onto the fair grounds where we were greeted by at least 25 tents featuring the best wines from local vineyards. (I didn't even know southern New Jersey had vineyards!)
Wine, wine, everywhere was wine. Tempting our taste buds with flavors like peach and tangerine and plum and strawberry and blueberry and cranberry and Frankenberry, and Boo Berry, and Count Chocula, etc.
Undaunted, Bob and I drew on our
I'd hold out my glass, they'd pour the wine. I'd take a small sip, swish it around my mouth as if I'd be doing this for
After swallowing our sips, we enthusiastically
Onward to tent number two!
This time, Bob had the privilege of the first sip, at which he responded by forming an expression on his face reminiscent of Lucille Ball's classic Vitameatavegamin, then turned and spit the stuff onto the ground.
"Bob!" I admonished. "You can't do that! Someone will see you!"
He shrugged off his actions, and stuffed his face with more pretzels.
Time for tent number three!
As I took the first sip, I stared in horror at my husband. Seems I was about to exhibit the same shocking behavior as Bob, but at least I had the courtesy to make it to the trash can before I spit the stuff out of my mouth.
"Lisa!" he yelled. "You can't do that!!!"
And so on it went. For all 25 tents. (We were determined to get our money's worth.)
Sip, swish, swallow, stuff your face with pretzels!
Sip, swish, spit it in the trash.
About an hour later, we staggered to the car. Hardly drunk since we emptied most of the wine before it went down, we still felt a bit woozy.
I think we'll wait for the ice cream tasting festival before we venture out again!
I love getting feedback. If you like my stories, please tell me in the comments below!
Try a Garlic Fest, or a Taste Of ... place. Some event where there are multiple food tents is much more fun for non winos! Like me! I would have walked the grounds, but stayed away from the vintners. Kudos for the attempt!ReplyDelete
Thank you for sharing another hoot of a story!
Hi Karen, I agree! Bob and I are much more suited to an event with multiple food vendors. Heck, we'd even be happy at a pretzel festival!! Thanks for reading!! LisaDelete
love it! That's kind of why we don't do wine tasting....ReplyDelete
I know Linda, I thought you'd relate!!!Delete
I LOVE wine! What a funny story! We used to go to Greek Fest in my hometown. Maybe baklava is more your style than wine. :-)ReplyDelete
I love baklava and wine equally ;0)Delete
Katie I would love to try a Greek Fest, now that would be fun!!Delete
What a great story! Thanks for the I love Lucy reminder...love her too!ReplyDelete
I took my little sister to her first wine tasting and thought she would hate it, but she loved it! Wine is an acquired taste. I love it, but it wasn't always that way. There are so many kinds and some are terrible! It can really scare you off if you get a bad one. Funny that you guys spit it out in trash cans! Hope you had fun and liked some of it at least ;0)ReplyDelete
Cindy - at least I got a good blog story out of the day!!!Delete
Love this story! And wine tastings...ReplyDelete
Thanks April! Maybe we'll try again at another wine tasting!Delete
At least you tried something new and created a fun memory. Next time try a chocolate festival -- now that's a woman's dream come true.ReplyDelete
Yes, I believe there could be nothing better than a chocolate festival!! Yum!!!Delete
Good for you both venturing out to try something new and fun! I'm so impressed! I personally LOVE wine tastings and often go with my girlfriends to different vineyards. Makes for a very fun afternoon with good weather and great company!ReplyDelete
Yes, we thought it would be a fun afternoon, until we actually tasted the wine!!!Delete
You guys are so brave! Now you can say you know something about wine.ReplyDelete
Well...we know that we don't like it! LOL! Thanks for visiting!Delete
There's nothing like trying something new. Yes, that will forever be etched in your memory. I'd love to try wine tasting too.ReplyDelete
I agree, we are always looking for something new to try!Delete