Saturday, August 3, 2013

Walking Off My Fat Arms

Two weeks ago, on a Monday morning at 6:30 am, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, with one pound weights held firmly in each hand, I left my house and began my brisk walk through the still sleeping streets of my quiet suburban neighborhood.

As the occasional jogger passed me by, we both followed the "runner/jogger/walker code of ethics" that states, you must make eye contact, smile, and say good morning.

Yes, by dressing the part and even adding the weights for good measure, I had managed to fool "professional" runners, joggers, and walkers that I had been doing this for years!

HAHAHAHAHA!

The truth is, my idea of exercise is getting up and walking the measly two inches from the sofa to the bathroom several times a night during my evening sedentary activities of either:

1. Blogging
2. Facebooking
3. Reading
4. Watching TV

All noble hobbies, I might add, but good for getting those cardio juices flowing? I think not!

So why, you may ask, for every day for the past two weeks, with the temperatures steamy enough to pop popcorn on the sidewalk, did I leave the comfort of my cozy bed at the insanely early hour of 6:30 am to go outside for a walk?

I will tell you the answer in two words.

Fat arms.

Some of you may be scratching your heads?

Fat arms you say, Lisa. Is that the name of a new rock band? (If not it should be)

For those of you wondering why fat arms are relevant, allow me to share that I recently tried on the dress I am going to where to my step-daughter's wedding in two weeks.

(My middle-aged, female readers are beginning to understand and empathize, I'm sure.)

Since my "I must lose 3,000 pounds before the wedding diet" falls victim on an hourly basis to pretzels, cookies, pasta, and ice cream, I have come to the cruel realization that I just might not lose the pitiful pounds before the blessed event.

This left me in quite a quandary.  Sure, I loved the dress, but it came with a billboard attached blaring the following advertisement.

THE LADY IN THIS STRAPLESS DRESS HAS FAT ARMS!

My solution? 

Use my magical powers to transform my fat arms into impressive, "Don't mess with Lisa" muscular arms.

But how?

I know! I'll lift weights! 

(Keep in mind that the closest I have come to lifting weights is lifting a one gallon container of milk from the supermarket shelf into the cart)

But lifting weights is boring. Then it hit me!

I know! I'll lift weights and walk....AT THE SAME TIME!

Since the mandatory summer heat wave had settled over my southern New Jersey neighborhood, stepping outside anytime past 9 am was out of the question.

However, at 6:30 am, the sun's rays had not yet peeked over the trees, whose branches provided welcome shade as I forced myself to maintain a brisk and steady pace, swinging my arms back and forth so that the weights would do their magic.

The early morning hour kept the oppressive humidity temporarily at bay, allowing me to relish in the calm serenity of my world at dawn.  My early morning exercise had become much more than a ridiculous quest to look good in a dress.  It had become a time to capture of few moments of peace before the start of a hectic day filled with work and family and chores and appointments and precious little time to sit back and well....just BE.

Now, when the alarm so rudely jolts me from my slumber, I resist the temptation to slam my fist on the snooze button. Instead, I get up, throw my hair in an "oh so flattering" ponytail, and hit the sidewalk.

After several days of trying to convince my husband Bob and 16-year old daughter Meliss to experience the serenity by my side, I finally won half the battle....Melissa agreed to join me.

There are precious few moments to connect when your offspring becomes a teenager. Moms who were revered from birth through the tween years, are suddenly ridiculed for singing, laughing, dancing, and (egad) attempted to engage in public displays of affection.

However, in the early morning hours, before the rest of the world joins the fray, the rules between mother and daughter are relaxed just a bit.  And during our brisk walk down the tree lined streets, we share in something special.....we just.....well.....we just....talk!

We talk about anything. We talk about everything.  We just talk.

All too soon, we're back home, where we walk through the door and symbolically part ways. Melissa grabs breakfast, and I head upstairs for a warm shower, signaling the start to another busy day.

My walks may not result in any change in my fat arms....but I guess in the end it really doesn't matter.... because time with my daughter is worth so much more.

My beautiful daughter Melissa and me at her 16th birthday party!




















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9 comments:

  1. Beautiful post! And honestly, I'm betting your arms aren't nearly the "fat disaster" you think they are. *grin*

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    1. Thanks Chris, I know you are probably right! :-)

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  2. I have those fat arms...I call them "Bat Wings". I think it's great that you this exercise is bringing you & the daughter together!! I would have take up doing bike stunts to get closer to my 14yo or as my 19yo told, I could get a job part time at night at the Grand Luxe & we could work together. LOL The kid is funny.

    Wonderful post sister...keep it up! Can't wait to see photos from the wedding.

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    1. Thank you so much Meghan! The wedding is getting so close we are so excited! There will most definitely be a blog about it!!

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  3. Aw, Lisa, you will be beautiful no matter what. The most beauty you possess is on the inside.

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    1. That didn't sound right. You know what I mean! LOL.

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    2. Thank you so much Cindy, I know exactly what you mean!!

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  4. Lisa, you always manage to find the funny side of life. Yes, I've been trying to face up to my fat arms and at night, while I'm watching TV, I too lift weights. Been doing this for months (though not every night, I'm sad to say). Still waiting for the results! Any minute now... :)

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    1. Keep on lifting those weights Monica - it can't hurt, right!

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